So wow. Yesterday (and today) have been unreal.

Overslept a bit, but Julia woke me up when she came by to give me my money back. She had to head out though because it's move-in day for her. (Lucky!) So I got up, took a shower, and as I got out, Trevor (the cute ex) texted me (!!!). He was heading up to the mountains and just said hi. I asked him if he was planning on buying car parts. (The town is known for being a big auto place as well as a tourist trap.) I was so right. :P He was joking and said he could go up there for tail too. I said I wished I was that lucky, haha, and he told me that I've always got the option open, wink wink. Score one for me! Makes me wonder though. As fun and relieving as it would be, would I still be seen as a human afterwards? Annnnyway... Got what I waaaanted! Hee hee! How funny is it that I've got an ex offering that?

So for the strangest part of yesterday... My most recent, asshole of an ex-boyfriend (Scotty) texted me out of the blue today and told me that his girlfriend he started dating right after me broke up with him. I could have written back with a hate-filled "leave me the **** alone douchebag" but strangely, I just didn't think it was necessary. I think he was really surprised that I told him I was sorry that they broke up and I knew how he felt. So we got on AIM and talked back and forth. It was really sad because he kinda gets what he's doing wrong but still has so much to learn. He's never happy with anything. But he APOLOGIZED for the shit he pulled. Multiple times. I told him sorry wasn't enough at this point, but it was a start.

I'm still floored that he'd do that. He's so damn stubborn I really did think hell would freeze over before he'd say sorry. But hey, it's a pleasant surprise. He never came straight out and said it, but he kinda hinted that I was a great girlfriend and he didn't realize what he was missing. Apparently the only thing that really irked him was that I wasn't planning on taking up a bunch of hours at work and moving in with him eventually. I told him school came first, and in the end he let that fester instead of telling me. I don't see why he wants someone to live with him so badly. Actually, I kinda can. His home life is shit. Not abusive parents persay, but more like the "there just enough that it's not considered official neglect" parents. He was an enigma, craving attention and love but wanting to be independent and alone at the same time. I've got an addictive personality when it comes to love, so I didn't mind being with him all the time, but in the end... Well, it just didn't work. He flipped out one day when I logged into his facebook (and at least I was honest enough to tell him!). I told him I was gonna get on there and add a picture, but then I found these messages from a girl at his work. It wasn't so much that they were flirting, but that he was complaining about how I was around too much and that I was a mooch. God forbid he tell me this! All he'd have to do is tell me and I would have checked myself.

Aaaaanyway. Past is past. I miss the memories, but in the end it's better this way. We were becoming too complacent in the security of each other and not living out our fullest dreams.

So originally when we talked online he wanted to meet me after work that night to talk. I agreed because I wanted to know what he wanted to say that couldn't be said online, seeing as we'd already agreed dating again was out of the question and had really wrapped up a lot of questions and loose ends. I think maybe he just needed someone to talk to about the hurt, and ironic that it is, I'm still apparently the only person he can trust to let it all out and be comforted.

God, I hated him so much for all the shit he pulled after we broke up. He rubbed it in my face about dating that same girl he'd been messaging, posted horrible things about me online and called me a cow and a bitch, took over my facebook and said shit things about me to any of my friends who would listen. So when he texted me, I felt so strange not having any hatred and venom stored up. I mean, that would have been the perfect time to let it all out. But now after three months, talking with friends, getting back out there, being hit on by new guys (haha), I didn't think I had, but I really have let go of all those hate-filled thoughts. Not to say there's still love there, but he was someone special to me for 2 1/2 years of my life. I had built daily rituals around him. The morning text, the cuddling after school, the goodnight kiss before he drove away... It stung like a bitch when those were all gone and I was left to make a new way of life.

But seeing those words, all I could do was empathise with him. Not as a former lover, but as a friend. I mean, I did still call him an asshole, but he agreed he was. :P I've gotta say, I thought I'd never be able to forgive that. And I'm not quite sure that I have yet. He's caused damage that will take me a long time to heal. He's changed the way I see the world. But I'm not mad anymore. And it's such a release. I hope that we can talk again, and maybe be friends again. I think that's the best way to end things with exes. Obviously you get along with them pretty well, so once the pain goes away (even if it takes years), they make really good friends.

So now about today! First day of college! It was a great start, other than being sleep deprived. :P

I actually graduated high school in December because I had all my credits. When this spring came around, I enrolled in a community college with 15 hours and then this summer with 9, just to get some classes out of the way. Most importantly I wanted to get my math over and done with, because I HATE it. So I'm technically a freshman still because I'm under 30 hours, but because I don't have to take some of the freshman classes, I managed to pull the elusive Tuesday/Thursday classes.

Originally I had thought about buying a parking pass, but decided it was ridiculous to pay $200 for a spot I might not even get. So when the school sent out a free semester-long bus pass, I figured I'd give it a shot. So this morning I got up at 5:15 (UGH) and was out at the park and go by 6:30. They didn't tell me though that the bus doesn't pick up by the parking, but at the gas station nearby, so I had to catch the second express bus. Good thing I came early! Everyone on the bus were a bunch of people spouting the goodness of riding the bus and how it helps save the environment. Now I'm all cool about helping the planet, but honestly, I'm riding it because I'm cheap. :P They were all really nice though and gave me directions and advice on how to get back to the bus and when it ran.

Once I was on campus, I had to ask for directions, but I made it to my first class, the History of Rock. The teacher seems kinda bland for the subject, but she was funny and likes the Sex Pistols, so maybe there's hope, haha. My friend's husband is in the class, but I couldn't find him. It's no easy task in a crowd of 200 or so students. I got some reading for next Tuesday, then went on my merry way to the next class.

Somehow, my classes have done a zig-zag pattern. They aren't all that far apart in the big scheme of things, but the ones that are farthest away from each other are the ones that seem to go back to back. My next class, Cultural Anthropology is over in the museum, so I had to haul butt back over there. That's gonna be such a fun class! I'm a huge anthro geek. That's why it's my major! :)

Next up is Geology, the boring but yet necessary class. Again, it's way far away from the class before it, AND up a hill, but the view is beautiful. The classroom is in one of the older buildings, and it has the classical college look to it. The A/C sucks though, so I can't wait for fall to hurry up! The teacher that was in there right before my time sounded like a total douche, and I was afraid that might be my teacher, but luckily we have this unintentionally hilarious old man named Dr. Clark. He looks and sounds like Elmer Fudd, but was dressed in what looked like a cross between sailing and traditional Chinese clothing. And he randomly stresses parts of words that aren't supposed to be and yells random words. It's gonna be a trip.

Last but not least is my sociology class, Varieties of Religious Community. All I can say is that it's gonna be AWESOME. I LOVED my last religious class, and this promises to be just as good. It's the professor's last year after 40 years, so I'm all pumped up for this.

So after all that, I wandered aimlessly trying to find a bus that would take me back to my car since the express PM didn't swing by until 4:30 and it was only 1:15. Thank goodness I found a nice busdriver. She gave me directions to the stop and I headed over there. Of course when I got there, the bus was pulling out, so I had to chill there for an hour until the next one came. Actually, chill is not the right word. Smolder would be better, being that the heat came back and it was 95 outside. But some other people came by and waited with me, so we chatted away the time.

Finally, the bus came, and me and the guy, Chris, who was going on the bus too, got on. He needed to go to Walmart and wasn't from here, so I got to be the cool helper kid. His stop was waaaay before mine anyway. It's kinda fun riding the bus, I've gotta say. I mean, it's strange not being able to go whenever and wherever you want to right then and there, but I was in no hurry and the people on the bus are chatty and funny, so it was all good. The bus actually stalled out halfway home, but it started up again and we continued on!

At 3:00, I finally got to my car and headed out to work to pick up my check. Got that cashed, got some gas, and was gonna get an oil change but there was a crazy line so I'm just putting it off for another day.

And now I'm at home, already ignoring homework and instead writing on here and making plans to see a movie Sunday. Haha. I'm so happy with how things are right now, and feel like things are really looking up. :)

Kate